How do i make my life better. the girl i love left 7 months ago i smoke drink smoke pot and have panic attacks?

leanne left i really loved her. i got no hope of ever seeing her or talkin to her agin left me for a gay star wow i really am a loser any idea why she left at least i mean it seemed like she cared and i did all i could but aparently being with the star and smokin meth is better than being with someone who loves you